In the afternoon once Lou had gone work I continued for an hour on the job search but then needed to get out the apartment and clear my head. I had plenty of podcasts to catch up on so I synced my ipod, put on my coat and decided the best way to listen to them would be to do it whilst walking around downtown Vancouver. I should also mention at this point the other week I found a packet of cigarettes (almost a full pack) but as I don't smoke I thought it would be best to give them to someone who does but we'll get to this part later. I jumped on to the SkyTrain and headed into downtown, getting off at the last stop Waterfront. I didn't really have any plan on where to go and my idea was to just listen to my podcasts and take in some nice scenery, something which didn't quite turn out to be the case until the end of my walk!

As I left the station I started my walk and decided to take a route through Gastown, the area has a unique blend of business's, boutiques, restaurants and pubs. It also gets some "undesirable" pedestrian traffic. I've mentioned Gastown before and like last time it wasn't long before a homeless person asked me for change. I have a rule of never giving any out no matter what the circumstances are because I've been told by many people that 99% of the time it's just spent on drugs. However I did have the cigarettes which I'd planned to get rid of so I gave her three and wished her a good day and she did likewise to me. I continued my walk eventually reaching the downtown eastside border, the part where me and Lou turn around and walk away as it starts to become dodgy. This time I didn't have the safety of Lou to worry about and I didn't have anything on me except my train pass, $5 and my ipod so I decided to carry on. I should also mention it was broad daylight and there were still mothers and kids walking around etc. I didn't head into the heart of it and I only approached people I judged to be reasonable. There were several shady looking people and people who were euphorically celebrating the high of the drug they'd recently taken, those I swiftly dodged away from. I didn't go to any places where there wasn't still a mixture of 'normal' people still around or put myself in any danger (ok, so now that's out of the way I'll continue haha).

I came across another pair of homeless people lying on the floor in the doorway of an abandoned shop. I'd previously seen someone smoking crack in the same spot at 1pm in the afternoon a few weeks back. I gave them another 6 cigarettes to share between them and again they were appreciative and shocked. They seemed amazed I would actually stop and talk to them and I was pleasantly surprised at how friendly they were too. Before I continue I also need to say that I know it's not good to be handing out something which damages peoples health but it's not like I brought them. I'd found them and needed to get rid of them without wasting them, I thought someone that would enjoy them might as well have them. To put it bluntly they're smokers who can't afford to smoke and a lot of them resort to gathering up dock ends off the floor to get their fix, I've seen it! This is a gesture they really appreciated and if that seems a little bit weird I guess you had to have seen the expressions on their face, true happiness. I felt like my little gesture made a positive difference on their attitude that day and it made me feel good too that I could provide some small relief from their day which must be nothing short of torturous. I got the feeling that me addressing them as a regular person made them equally as happy as the cigarette did. I repeated the process another 3 times having some short but interesting conversations on the way, again people kept surprising me with how nice they can be. It's easy to see the dirty clothes, skin, and unkempt hair and not recognize the individual as a normal human, I know because I do / have done it myself sometimes. I guess It's like any other sector of a society though there's good and bad people in it. In a weird way I've noticed that the majority of the nastier / impolite ones can be the ones who wonder into the nice parts of town to beg, I don't know if this is fact or just a coincidental observation.

The whole walk started to become a bit soul destroying though and for the first time in a while I started to feel really saddened. Some of the alleyways I passed looked bad, I don't really know how to describe them - just full of people rifling though the dumpsters. Let's just say you'd need to pay me a lot of money as a dare to walk down most of them. When I was a student in the UK I lived in a place in Coventry which was on the border of Hillfields, a known less desirable area where I'd see prostitutes and pimps every now and again getting in to fights. Well, Hillfields compared to this would look like an all inclusive stay in the Maldives! I'm just glad I was there during the daytime.

 I was walking around streets where the smell of urine was pungent (and abundant!) and where public defecation (so I'm told) is rife, luckily I didn't see any! All of this is just inside the unofficial border of that area. I can't imagine what it must be like in the centre of 'skid row', I'm not brave enough or stupid enough to wonder down there. What I seen myself was dirty and shocking, I couldn't bring myself to go any further after 20 minutes of walking around so I decided to continue my walk (and resume my podcasts which I'd had on pause) in the nice parts of the city (which fortunately is the majority of it). As I was walking towards the Vancouver Public Library and the CBC Studios I noticed another homeless lady covered in dirty blankets fast asleep on a busy sidewalk. People didn't even bat an eyelid and everyone I noticed walked past in ignorance, including me - but it broke my heart as I did so. After the walk I felt powerless and conflicted, thinking on one hand "What can I as one sole person do to improve this?" and on the other "Why should I spend my time and effort on this when people who've been here for years don't even bother?". I know the latter doesn't put me in great light, but I'm honest and that's how I feel, undecided.

I feel bad that this situation exists in such a beautiful city, Vancouver is ranked number 1 for 2009 in The Economists "World's Most Livable Cities" and joint 4th in Mercer's 2009 "Quality Of Living Survey"! The majority of the general public seem to have a 'it's not my problem but someone needs to do something about it" attitude, including me sometimes, which doesn't help the situation. My problem is I can't decide which side of the fence to sit on. I can empathize with everyone, the tax payers who just want the government to fix it, the charities struggling to provide help and the government who try various things which repeatedly fail. I don't know what to say and I've not been here long enough to understand the full scope of the issue. All I know is that I made 6 people smile that day, wether it was via a method people agree with or not, and that's good enough for me.

Posted from Vancouver, Canada